


Transitions

by lodessa



Series: Assorted Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Deathbed Confession, Future Dax Host, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-25 00:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14965571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lodessa/pseuds/lodessa
Summary: Kira Nerys' final words to an old friend.





	Transitions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [devoverest](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=devoverest).



> The prompt was: "The deathbed confession I never wanted. Trek character(s) of your choice"

“Did I make it in time?” 

The voice is unfamiliar and yet she recognizes something about the intonation.

“I’m still here,” she croaks, “And you are-”

“Dax,” he confirms, “Voril Dax.”

“Let me get a look at you,” her words come out weak. She doesn’t sound any more like herself than Dax does, as she slowly forces her eyes open.

He’s so young. She supposes she knew he would be, but it still is shocking to see.

“Will I do, Nerys?” he kneels down beside her bed, and takes her outstretched hand.

“I’m glad you made it. There are things I always meant to say but it always seemed like there would be more time. I thought Ezri had more time.”

“I’m not her, but you know that don’t you? You already did this.”

“Jadzia. I should have said more then.”

“They understood. I understand.” 

Voril is Dax but he’s also something new mixed with that a glimmer of Ezri’s warmth and shade of Jadzia’s sparkle. 

“You showed me how to love, Dax. I was so scared and angry and prickly and Jadzia just ignored that and befriended me anyway. You know how it was, how I resisted and refused to relax, but Dax has always been a tidal wave as I’m sure you are starting to realize already.”

“I’d hoped you might have some advice,” he admits a little bashfully.

“Come closer,” she instructs, reaching out to trace the unfamiliar pattern of his spots with her withered fingers as he leans in, “The Dax symbiont can be a bit of a bully but don’t you let it, Voril. It’s your partner not your boss.”

“It’s so strange,” he sighs, “Having just met you and yet having a century of memories, of emotions, with you, for you.”

“You’ll get used to it,” she promises, finding herself off topic again, “You know everything you need to, it’s just a matter of sorting through it all. At least that’s what Ezri found. Besides, Dax has a way of prioritizing. You knew to come, as soon as the joining was complete it must have been the first thing you did.”

“What are we, Kira Nerys?”

Her youngest grandson is about this boy’s age, but he’s still Dax: she can see it in his eyes.

“Intimate, Voril Dax. Dax knows me better than anyone including my family. Dax knows who I was and who I am. There was a time when… Oh never mind.”

It feels stupid to say it now. What would be the point? She’s just an old woman romanticizing the past.

“When what?”

“Looking back, I felt more than friendship, but I wasn’t ready for it and then well the way Jadzia was with everyone but with me…”

“I didn’t want to alienate you. You needed a best friend more than you needed anything else back then.”

“That’s true. I didn’t even realize what I felt at the time. You remember how guarded I was at the time. The way I kept my lovers at a safe distance.”

Bareil. Shakkar. Men with other priorities, other commitments, too much so to protest the parts of herself she kept to herself.

“Well I found the next standoffish idealist bristling with frustration in my path and I channeled all my energy into-”

Worf, of course she’d never seen the commonality like that. 

“I missed our moment.”

“We had a lifetime. In some ways more than one.”

He’s right. There were decades of time, and yet it never seemed to be the right one, even now.

“In a way though, you have been there in all my most intimate moments, I learned that openness from you: emulated it, analyzed it-”

“I always saw it in you. Jadzia chose you, Nerys, or maybe it was Dax… I am still trying to reconcile the relationships between all of Dax’s former hosts and Dax proper…”

She remembers Ezri like this, wonders if it was like that for Jadzia. It must have been. 

“I’m sorry I don’t have time to wait and see how Voril Dax turns out, once you’ve reached equilibrium. I shouldn’t be bothering you with-”

“Don’t apologize.” He presses his lips to her wrinkled skin and saying what even in this moment she is struggling to. “I have always loved you back.”

“Oh Dax,” she takes one last heavy breath, “I’m glad you knew.”

That last task accomplished, she relinquishes herself to the Prophets.


End file.
